^Litt|e raIndrOps^

2005-08-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

aHHhhhhhh....
I cant decide wad to do 1st....
haha.... all my projs (excpt FPQA*its a proj based subj) is finally ended....
but i have mani evaluations to do...
-peer evaluation for FPQA package 2A
-Course evaluation

and i cant decide whether to do them 1st or to blog(since i have not been able to for a long time)
or to chek my emails OR YAH..... to study for tml's mini quiz...

i guess only this in our course will feel like hw i felt now.... relieved.... revived... survived
this sems is veri stressful on my physical and mental health....

rushing for proj to 1-2-3 am in the morning and rushing to sch for 9am lessons (CaT proj).....
studying non stop of quiz.....
cracking our heads on FI reports....
non stop discussion and thinking for FPQA...
looking at canteens and hawkers for their layouts to do APFS assignmt
last min sudden shopping for CaT international buffet.... rushing in the food lab whippping out dishes every wk
and going psychotic to do Psychology proj on commercials....
planning meals 6 times over and over again juz to get a balance meal tat met RDDA requiremts and 6 principles.... haiz....
Lastly.. i can nv forget the times where i have to stay in sch till 7-8 pm to do projs in the com labs...
and, skipping lec to do projs... (i plead guilty of that)

Luckily i have dar(huns,honey,dear) with me.... haha... Muacks... thanx for ur support... i couldnt have make it without u.... haha.. and hazie, koonie, may and evan... hehe... thanx

2005-08-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

AHhhhhhh...
after 4 hours cooping up in lib.... i cant stand it longer...
another 45 mins to psycho lec...
can u believe it... me... waiting in sch for a f**king lec...
i cant afford to loose it...
have been sneezing my heads of in the lib for 4 hours...
my head is goggly... haha... i hope i dun get sick...
haha... but im realli getting weak... now...

mayb its the aircon... haiz... help me...
i have got work to do... psycho test on sat tat i haben touch...
apfs assignment tat we haben finish.... due on fri...

i still have to wait dar... along with the lec.... haha...
we r gg together...

2005-08-09T22:33:00.000+08:00

i hate it when night falls...

its scary to see the the sun gradually changes from bright daylight to dark star sky...

its beautiful... but it scares me... like everything is being taken away by the sun...

its like a sign telling us that the day is over.. and everything is falling in place...

no more changes... wad is gain is gain.. wateva is lost.. will remain as it is...

im afraid of losing everything in life tat i fought for in life..

ok.. i din fought for it.. but i gain it for myself.. and i cherish them.. frenz.. honey.. family... everything

moreover.. it tells us that 1 day is over.. haha.. 1 day closer to deadline.. haiz..

we are like rushing stupid things.. proj.. assignments.... haiz... nth tat i wanted to do in life..

2005-08-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

hmm... days by days time flies..
i dun seem to realli feel happi...
may be sch work.. may b coz i noe tat dar is moving hse sumwhere in nov...
I KNOW ITS LONG FOR NOW..!
still i cant help it.. i cant stop myself from thinking..
wad will happen to us nxt..
no more old place... no more common bus stop.. we're gg on opp direction from sch tml..
haha... yes.. u will still send me hme... but its different... its not natural.. its not the same...

still.. the *phobia* is there... it still shaken me....

2005-07-23T22:55:00.000+08:00

i love you..
i knew.. u love me too..
u planned our 'near future'...
but.... i cant help asking.. what abt me?
u r heading towards ur ultimate goals..
but u sum wad forget abt my feelings...

But.. still.. i still love u... always..
U love me too...

2005-07-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

work is piling up again..

my world is spinning..

ApFS..NLS..CaT..FPQA..PSYCHO..

no one can understand how tired im.. Facial expression Couldnt tell animoRe..

Im tired... Cant anione tell?

Im trying my best to juggle my work..

U muz understand yah.. I loVe yoU..

2005-07-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

I have lost my true self..
where is the laid back gal in the past..
the happi go lucky one..
the lazi bum who always does her work in the last min
the one is less worried abt no finish her work..

I have changed.. being paranoid abt deadlines...
trying and rushing to meet all deadlines asap...
Researching frantically over books and web..
feeling veri guilty if i have not contribute much to work... im sorry guys..

Stress.. makes me preoccupied wif thots..
im so blur...
and im becoming worst now...
what will i be at the end of this sem... a machine...

AniBody could donate to me a brain... I nid to change mine..? its rusty...
Our anione could have the heart to trade their for mine..? i nid a better brain
I miss dar.. so much so much..

2005-07-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

I haTe CaT...
heh.. spent last nite on evan's hse.. din slp.. to do the layout planning...
only to find out tat its not exactly rite juz now... haiz..
tat means tml we have to skip lesson to do it.. shits..

Term test results shld be out nxt wk..
i dun wanna noe nls.. i dun wanna noe Cat.. I dunno wanna noe FPQA.. i suck in all of them...
I'll be waiting for my supps for them man.. heh..

I miss Dar.. SO much SO much...
Do u miss mE too?

2005-07-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

Dar keep asking me to tell him how i was feeling yest..
i cant ask it.. the feeling is gone.. and i cant describe it.. heh..
i dun wanna tok abt it..

Dun wori lah dar.. dun feel sad.. its not ur fault to nt be there when i nid u.. is u dun have the chance to.. i dun wan u to worri.. so i din wanna say.. plus.. telling u will use up the littel time we had to tok.. before u go off for training.. i noe how u feel but i dun wan u to wori for such minor probe.. i have got it alrite.. heh.. im fine now..

Yes.. i dreamt of him.. i cant reason it..
dar was in the dream too.. but i cldnt rmbr wats gg on animore..
May i juz tot too much that day..
plus.. i slpt in a bad mood.. not able to tell anione how it felt.. and gif up wanting to tell in the end..
tml is gonna be a long day... and i long nite.. haiz.. shall c den..

I love U.. muackz

2005-07-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

i felt like i have lots of things choked up in my throat..
yet i can nv find sumone i cld tok to..
mayb if i finally found sumone to lend me a listening ear..
i cant spit them out animore..

i Miss YOu sO..
dO yoU miss Me toO?

2005-07-14T18:02:00.000+08:00

wads wrong wif me..?

im feeling down..

recieved a testimonial from sumone i dun wish to think for a long time...

a gal 'friend'...

i dun say i hate her.. i feel tat we could be veri good frenz if we didnt fall in love wif the same guy in sch.. mayb in my next life..

i haven meet her for a long long time.. im avoiding ppl tat will bring me back to memories..

I noe I had got over him... (Haven I?)

I dun wanna think abt him... No waY..

wif all this thoughts runing thru my mind.. i got even angrier wif myself.. after yesterday's blur episode..

I sob...

i nid dar.. i nid you.. i nid ur shoulder..*soBs.*

when everything dun seem rite in my life animore..

2005-07-13T11:21:00.000+08:00

how blur can i get...
i always tot that the baking workshop is at 11am.. but actualli its at 1...
and it clashes wif my psycho proj meeting...
heh... im gonna feel damn bad ltr...

i forgot to bring my lab coat.. and so i din wear my shoes...
im gonna like eat shit and die..
i can juz forget abt everything...
and now im in the comp lab.. wanted to look at ads for my report but i cant view them...
i juz feel like banging against the wall wif my head....
dotx.. im so frustrated wif myself

2005-07-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

term Break is not a term Break...
the word BREAK... now.. meanted its time for u to catch up..
work continue to pile up... and im running up wif a slow paces...
my reluctance to stay focus on my work... my negligence...

check list of work to be done by this week..
- psycho report on my part
- FPQA report of my part to be sent to koonie
- CaT layout planning (grp work)
- CaT menu planning (individual)
-ApFS discussion for consultation on proj

these are most of the things i guess.. im notr veri sure yet.... hehe... i cant rmbr wad i have to do... but all i noe is tat i may not have time if i dun buck up... hehe... im gonna do my psycho report...
im so looking forward to tml baking workshop for CCn day... its gonna be fun

2005-07-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

STupiD PsyChoLogy REport...
haiz.. have 4 qns.. but only researched on 2 qns...
i haf no even done the back bone of both the qns.. juz researching on points to included...
congitive..motivational..social... i noe nuts abt it...
our meeting is on wed... tml is burnt by nls and FPQA... plus my 9th mth anniversary..
can u believe it.. my 9th mth anniversary.. i have nv gone on a relationship beyond 9 mth... my longest in the past was like 8 mth plus...
dotx... i felt dumb..

i love ya dars... muacks muacks..

next mth will be a significant mth... heh.. it will be dar's bdae... the day we get to noe each other... heh.. and i have yet to think abt an idea abt celebrating... nor had i save up money.. heh... noe clue on wad to buy watsoever.. im the lousiest gf on earth man..
I nid to brainstorm man... hehe

2005-07-10T14:09:00.000+08:00

hehe.. finally got the photos we took when we r on the family trip to hongkong... hahha
was meeting dar after the whole *9.of.us* outing... manage to squeeze in some time to meet him up... haha... his sister came along.. she is veri pretty.. haha... *blinks.blinks*
they were bickering.. haha.. so cute... and den i tot of my bro.. haha... arent they lucky to be able to bicker ard now.. felt alittle bitter den.. but its fine.. mayb im juz jealous... haha.. for wad? i dunno.. haha... *hit myself on my forehead*

coz i dun get to see my bro everyday now.. i only get to see him on sun.. the day he's gonna book in again...

**But...... STill I loVe my Dar.. My One anD onlY lOve.. **

2005-07-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2005-07-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

aHHhhhhhhh....
can relax lah...
haha.. after exams le...
heh.. i think my results are quite sucky...

I miss dear... heh..
im missing u more than ever...
i enjoyed studying wif u for the week...
coz we get to see each other for 10 hours a day..(approximately)

i cant wait for tml to come...... im gg to meet the gals.... haha.. so fun...
i cant wait for nxt week.. coz its term break but i have to do proj... (still happi)
i cant wait for nxt sat.. coz im invited to go to the campfire.... argh....
muackz.hugs.smilex

2005-07-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

wanted to share wif u my joy
But all i hear was shouting.. 3 secs ltr.. the line went dead
interruption by an arguement... i got the idea tat i nid some time alone..

i wasnt smiling animore..
I wanna tell u how much i miss u eventhough im out wif another fren
I wanna reassure u.. not to worri abt me going out wif my guy fren
I wanna tell u how much im enjoying.. but it wasnt comparable to u being by my side..
but i dun wish to say them animore..
YOU NEEDED silence.....
Im at lost for words to say..

sumthings cant be seen by the eyes nor hear by the ears..
u nid to see and hear wif ur heart..

2005-06-30T14:41:00.000+08:00

i shldnt have gone sch today..
its not worth gg to sch for an hour plus lec..
its not worth for my to travel 2 hours juz to get to sch and go back hme
its not worth to wakey earli in the morning and squeeze in crowded bus and rushing in the rush hour..
its not worth tat Mdm lau took away the only time tat i can meet deary before he goes off for his labby.. and i go hme
i only went so i cld meet deary for that tinny winny 10 mins..
and i din get to see him...

i dun wan you to cum over.. i wan u to go hme and rest
i dun wan u to travel all the way over here.. coz its tedious for u..
I dunnop wad im writing... nth is gg my way today...
Im juz being stubborn and hard to please...

I DUNNOE WAD I WANT NOW..

2005-06-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

HmM.. was suPPosed to researCh for NLS... but i ended up looking for a new template... dotx..
so cute.. i like the pic... haha..
added lyrics from corrinne may... MeaningfUl.. this iS foR my Boy.. RaymOnd..

still FeelinG dumb... i guess i Muz be one of the dumbest in Class.. or even the course...
Im juz not focused in wateva im doing... I dunno wad Im doing.. i think i enjoyed doing nth.. haha... ks.. But im gonna work realli hard tml.. im not gifing myself up.. IM NOT GIVING UP..

I have Worked so Hard foR wad i have now.. I shaLL continue... to ProtEct watEva i had in my lIfe... heH...

I Miss bOy... I miss yoU so.. do U noe tat? mUacKxXx....

2005-06-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

Im sO moody.. over nth.. i dunno y im feeling so moody.. i keep stoning.. its obvious i have nth in my mind.. i juz dun feel rite.. mayb i juz feel so lost.....
Tired... haha.. no its juz psychologically.. haha.. i bet everyone in my course is saying tat every day.. there is no one day we din say tat.. not tat we r slpy.. but our workload made us.. slpy.tired.lost.busy.restless. haha.. first was proj bomb they drop on us.. den was the series of quiz.. not big thing.. the term test.. guess wad? its in a week's time.. im not sure how badly i can do this time..

all of us are not sure.. we start to doubt our abilities of us in the course. sumtimes.. like koonie.. i will think.. Do i suit the course at all..? to say.. i muz be one of the laziest bum in the course.. i dunno how i get thru exams.. but i nid to change this bad habit.. seriously.. or im bound to fail sem 2.1 haha..

we used to say tat we arent given choices in sec sch..suddenly u r open to so mani options to choose... seriously i dunno wad elective to choose at all.. and its quite critical now.. as wad we r choose "will" decide wad u r gonna do in future... argh.. i wanna be a kiddo now... so i dun nid to make ani decision.. urgh..

2005-06-24T08:43:00.000+08:00

Everything is so hay-wired to me today... have a quiz today.. at 8.. and i overselpt.. was supposed to leave hme at 6.45... and i wakey like at 6.47... so super late... hahaha.. i fluster to the toilet , washed my hair. brush teeth...(thank god i did shower late last nite.. or i wil feel so yucky today). Changed, packed my bag.. leave hme.. without contact lenses.... time check.. 7.00am... haha.. whoa 15mins to get ready.. hahaha... rushed down and took a cab... and den realise i can take cab a ltr time.. becoz i can reached sch in 15 mins... but i juz took it.. thinking of studying in sch before quiz...

everything is so blur... no contact lenses... i dun like to wear my specs.. haha.. or though i got it in my bag... i will only use it during lesson... hahaha.. so ugly... haha... my hair is in a mess... im so blur.. and the quiz is so SHIT... and blogging at 8.43 am... hahaha..

me and hazel din have anithing to do... and we dunno wad else we cld do other den blogging.... dotz.. shall leave now... bye

2005-06-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

haiz.... im far far away from comletion of my FI report....after 45 mins.... still stuck at the inroduction part.... and u noe wad..? i have a 5 more parts to go.. which includes interpretation of the results... haha.. and i noe nuts abt it.. haha.. WAds worst is tat i haben even read thru for viva tml.. and im supposed to be the 1st one to be consulted... ks.. im juz so so so stupid...

I keep geting distracted..... i had to research, type, think, read textbks, understand, interpret, and reason.... haiz... its gonna be so sucky for me.............. i dun feel like doing aniting.......... haha... and i actualli snack for a little to make myself conc. on my work.. thinking tat high fat food cld be brain food...... i nid a doc.. pls consult my brain... and tell it... to work... work..think...stop procrastinating.....

2005-06-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

haha... stupid.. now in comp lab.. and i dun noe wad to do... had always been saying tat we dun have the chance to surf the net.. and tat we had the chance... we dunno wad to do wif it.. so boring.. i hate researching on the net.. u get tonnes of stupid info tat wasnt even related to ur key subj.. juz tat the synopsis has got sum of the key words.. can worst.. it wasnt veri reliable haha.. stupid..

had a consultation session today.. and only me and farhana turned up on time.. kenny was abt 10 mins.. and Fw was damn late.. he reached after our session.. and gave us stupid reasons like he din noe when was the time of our session and tat he called.... stupid.. he shld have juz came up and checked out on the lab venue.. if we r there... haiz.. he cant be cured animore... soooooo lack of common sense.. haha... haiz...

still have FPQA later.. haha.. researching on new package again... haha... its fun.. but its tedious.. we have to find out everything ourselves... and den i ahve psychology tyut.. followed by lec... sian.. im ending sch at 7.. and i had to rush hme of dinner.. mum is waiting for me.. for dinner

Im getting use the being alone at hme without kor now.. on-ing the tv when reading at the same time.. eating takeways in front of the tv.. having the whole hse to myself.. 1 kitchen, 1 dining room, 1 living room, 3 bedrooms, 2 toilets.. everything... haha... im getting used to it.. aniway he will be hme.. soon.. this wkend or nxt wk hme..

2005-06-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

i just finish reading thru the notes for CaT and FI.. haha.. dun feel like studying.. i wonder if we would becum feeling-less machines at the end of this sem... i haben had a gd rest for a long time.. i haben been able to stay at hme and linger ard.. being a real potato couch.. reading the entire day.. now.. wif bro in the army.. the hse is left empty.. with me alone.. the only sounds tat i can hear r those made by me.. i still cant get used to it.. but yah.. nowadays i only have time at hme at nite.. doesnt matter much

Deary.. i noe how u feel yest.. but after the whole day of work.. and stuffs.. i dun wish to hear all that.. i wanna hear u say things caringly.. sweet things to make me feel tat all this hard work is not for nth.. im alr feeling guilty of not being able to meet u yest.. and the changing of venue of today's outing...

im soOOoooOOoo tired.. i wonder how long i could tek..... i hope there are no more projs we have to do.... i wanna rest............................. haha... im juz feeling veri lazy

2005-06-11T08:44:00.000+08:00

1 more day to our 8th mth anni.. bt i wasnt sure abt the chances of me gg out wif u today... at first i got it all work out... meeting u and the earli afternn before i meet hazie and gals for the CaT proj... bt i got a cropped up NLS interview session in sch at 12.30.. which means no afternn free time to meet u..

Im feeling super guilty now.. if i have known this i wld have stay back in sch to meet u a while no matter how tired i was yest. Bt thank god tml we r gg out wif my sec frenz to sentosa.. and thank u for not minding to celebrate our anni wif my frenz bdae's belated celebration.. love u lots
i noe my projs have been the causes of me taking time of our dates etc.. i m sorri abt it.. and i will definitely try to put it back 'soon' when im free..

Check list for things i have to complete bt haben done yet
2 quizes on mon (CaT, FI)
Edit the FPQA 'report thingy'
Starting on my technical report for FI
CaT menu planning
NLS task 1 which i m doing today
CaT task 1 oso doing today
ApFs proj which we haben even started on
NLS mini quizes
Online quiz 1 and 2 on psycho
survey and peer evaluation for FPQA
_________________

tat shld be all..hmm.. most will be done nxt week.. if time permits.. if nth shld crop up in the process
i will be able to spend more time on my personally life
I wanna get a pair of shoes.... soon enuff when i have save up enuff.
Im looking forward to meeting sokkim and gals for our first meeting in july.. we have another mth to go..

2005-06-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

Dotx.. i think its the longest time i haben been updating my blog..
Sch starts and im quite busy for sch work... our work load has increase into a imense heap within 2 wks.. haha.. we have projects for all the subjs we tek this sem... haiz.. guess its how we are gonna get thru yr2.. im beginning to realli miss sec sch days... although we have to do homework by obligation.. but.... i finally realise wad my sec 4 teacher said, 'its not the end, its the beginning of ur nitemare' when i said tat its over when i got my results....

But still now... no regrets abt getting into this course... if its another regret, im a total failure in life.. almost 18 and i had a 'fine sum' of regrets... haha

I almost got a nervous breakdown yest.. deary fell sick.. we had to cancel our outing... i had to rush to meet him at a bus stop... coz he sounded veri sick... haha.. i had a panick attack...
run, or rather walked fastly to the bus stop in my f**king heels tat blisters on my leg... haha... my eyes were alr red when i finally boarded the bus coz it hurts me so much... haha... kept blinking so i wont cry before i reach the bus stop to meet deary... haha... and try to not show it when im wif him...
He was running a temp alr... haha.. got abit betta but den run a temp when he reached hme...
i was damn worried... haha.. staying beside him... haha... panicking... haha... worrying... feel damn bad and worried when i have to live... and spent the entire nite waking up and slping back... god.. i wished i was the one who is lying in bed and feeling sick... haha...
luckily he got betta now (according to him).. and he is working... and cozing me to worri again..

Juz wanna let u(deary) noe, dun let it happen too frequently... or i will realli suffer nervous breakdown... i love u... my heart hurts more den the blisters on my leg hurts...muackx.. Hope u get realli well soon... haha... for my sake...

2005-05-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

:: superduper long blog::
stupid blogger... haha... tried posting twice last nite... and to be obvious, it din get thru again... even when i recover it and repost it again.. for twice... haha... irritating enuff... i cant recover it now.. haha

after getting tipsy last nite..having burben rootbeer and alittle of absolute vodka.. haha... and vommiting wateva i had for dinner (irrks...i shall spare u of the details) haha.. chated wif deary until 3 and den slping til 12pm on the nxt morning..

and den spend the evening doing things my ma wants me to do...
mitchelle, set up dinner when gong gong wants to eat..
mit, bring him down for a walk so he can puff, buy news paper
mit, wash the towels in the bathrooms..
mit, wakey tml to fix coffee for gong ks.. set alarm.. 8 shld be gd..
etc etc etc..

and that stupid tp homepage has been loading since 15 mins ago after i clicked on the timetable notice.. great... everything is dyfuncting... blogger.com, msn( which i finally got signed in juz), tp.edu.sg(stupid pg), and my tagboard...

im anticipating sch to start... as well as hating it to start so soon then.. all tat travelling.. and yes, waking up at 7 am everday... sch til 5 and tat 5 hrs break on thurs.. haha..
the only consolation wld be seeinf koonie and gals and AA12 (or AA22) and DEARY!!! haha
i wonder if its a gd thing to be able to see deary everyday in sch.. ( there are pros and cons) and i m not gonna feel tired abt it.. im not gg to feel tired abt it.. im not gg to feel tired abt it( *hypnotising myself.. but realli.. i dun think so i will be tired den) rite deary?
the last time it happened ( last sem).. i burnt a hope in deray's heart.. and his slp and the pipc test ( if im not wrong) he was suppose to tek the day after ... hmmm... im not gonna do it again

2005-05-20T23:38:00.000+08:00

ks... guess wad cds i have? i have I-PSY... haha.. i suppose its psychology.. haha.. wad to feel abt it.. i dunno if i m happi or sad..
Happi- i wanted it since sem one
Sad- i dun feel exasperated when i see wad i have got... it dun seem to interest me much animore..

Good news Bad news
Good: Me and deary got into the same cds... cw too.. which meant i won't 'alone' in class
Bad: me and deary got into diff class...
half/half: if me and deary is in the same class.. im gonna look superduper dumb in class.. and i dun wan him to see that.. haha..

all tat crap... i went to grandma's hse.. she looked so lonely... after uncle and family walked out (they din imform them tat they were moving despite living tog) on her and grandpa..she is angry.. who wont... i dunno how to console her... wad can i say when im juz a child in their eyes.. but i promise to myself to go and spend time wif her when i can...
I love hugging her... i love hugging mum.. or ani of my frenz.. and deary...
i wish tat hugs can juz take away all the sadness in her... and into me..
juz like i hope tat giving deary a hug can make him feel betta tat day he told me he was dissappointed for not getting into the team..
haiz... wish i was by grandma's side now..

2005-05-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

2005-05-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

im back like 3 day ago... but im too preoccupied wif tat stupid PBL thingy... wasted my time for 2 days... sicked.. so superduper pissed off wif the other AA25(if im not wrong) coursemates loh... irritating.. gg to lib like aunties in the wet markets.. grabbing anibook in sight regarding our research and can still be so proud to say things like... 'i think we got all the books liao..." and luff... stupid..and not mentioning the gals who blocked the entire red spot shelf on our topic too...

have my hair cut and i look... ermm.. my bro says its freaky... haha.. i tried fringe... and i think its gonna tek sometime for others to get used to my new hair cut.. aniway.. i will be the walking luffing stock of the entire clothes... haha.. and another failed (wrong) attempt to revamped my hair style.. haha.. im getting abit used to it now.. but.. i think im gonna attract funnie looks from other coursemates.. i HAT ATTENTION... urghs.. i regret it..

Im having some terrible mood swing... haha... stupid.. i have loads of work waiting for me... gtg..

2005-05-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm... i will be away for short family trip.. haha.. juz to let u guys noe.. im leaving tmr.. which is 13th may (dotx.. its fri 13th) and be coming back on 16th... haha... hope everyone tek care... im gonna miss everyone... haha..

Esp deary... muz tek care ks... im gonna miss u like.... like.... i cant explain... im juz gonna miss u alot alot... u do tek care ks... esp when u go work... muz stay focus... i dun wan aniting to happen to u ks... its gonna be over veri fast... haha.. juz 3 days... dun be wori abt me.. i will tek care... u muz enjoy urself ks... haha... but dun get sumone to replace me yah( when im not ard).. haha... im gonna be mad ks.... tek care.. wait for me.. i will be back.. haha... its juz some other long wkend.. muackx.. hugs....

2005-05-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Haben been blogging since.... i dunno... kinda dun have inspiration for blog recently... haha... so i din.. haha... i skipped the part on BBq on last mon and the Chalet on tues.. and the Cookies making on wed... haha... coz its too much to tok abt and all my feelings are jumbled up... having fun and heart to heart toks thru mon nites... feeling loved ands understanded thru tues nite wif deary ( it wasnt anithing tat is hanky panky).. and playing wif butter flour sugar and choc chips wif excolleagues and den hogging mikes wif siling and yeesin at KBox... haha

hmm.. 10 may now... 2 days before our 7th month anni.. and 3 days away frm my short hongkong trip wif my family.. im gonna miss deary like....... like he's gonna flood my mind every sec.. in fact.. yes.. im beginning to miss u... do u noe tat?
Dun think abt others feeling that we are incompatible, or our diffs.. coz its our diffs tat make is complete i guess.. one muz have flaws so that another make it up for it.. im the flaw.. and you compliment me.. haha.. or vice versa
Dun worri abt the tots u have abt me gettin tired of u... i not... not now.. not in the near future.. relax.. enjoy the time we have together.. mayb we will be together for a long time.. or mayb u found someone who can compliment u better den i cld... no matter wad... i only noe i love youu... alot... alot more than before... and im afraid of losing you now... hUgs...

2005-04-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

::Irritating::
1st i cant sign in into msn.. den i cannot find server for mani websites... wads wrong man..

I cant believe tat Darwis Lim got into newspaper.. when koonie msg me...
I went to my grandma hse and took yest's paper and i saw a familiar person on the front page, wif his hands covering his face.. haha.. they din reveal the name... so i tot to myself tat mayb its juz some other MR LIM..haha... den i went on to todays papers and saw his face on it...*shocked* *go to koonie's blog for new report*

Ks.. he is our Food Chem lecturer.. and other than his Name.. and his Thai-Indo accent tat attracted my attn.. i dunno aniting much.. juz find him friendly... but i din expect such stuffs..
ermm.. i have no offence or watsoever.. im juz raising my voice on this.. i felt abit disgusted.. haha.. him.. finding young boys as 'social escorts' ermm... i wont be veri surprised if he was looking for gals den.. at least its normal .. agree? haha.. its like boys.. young boys who could be gullible enuff to do it.. for US$200.. tats alot to them(and to us).. haha... wonder wad will happen to him in future.. haha.. sad for him... studied so much and den got his reputation down the drain in juz one silly flaw...

2005-04-28T15:44:00.000+08:00

::Bored-ed-ed::

Im Bored.. haha.. not much activity, and yet, im not even find one to do..
My mind is going empty, and im not doing much stuff...
Im practically a "filipino" maid at hme.. washing bedsheets, blankets, running errands, hang out clothes and folding them, vacuum, mopping, cleaning the kitchen... dotx... i guess i had done all other den cooking... haha.. seriously, wheneva im frustrated or bored, or feeling empty, i do haf the habit of cleaning up stuffs.. haha...oks.. so im born to be one huh..

Nothings beats seeing mum smiling everyday after work when she knows i did chores...
I could now understand how hsewifes and maids felt... haha.. but doing chores ain't diffcult at all.. is all abt the mind set.. haha.. I miss deary alot.. alot...

and im looking forward to meeting koonie and gals next mon... (and we arent even ready.. haha.. i think we nid to sit doen and discuss abt it...)

2005-04-27T11:39:00.000+08:00

hehe.. everything is fine now..
Grandpa is recuperating well..
One week.. haha.. i took 1 week to bring myself back..
i was so blur loh.. keep bumping into things.. and accidentally used shampoo on my body.. forgeting to do stuffs.. and etc etc etc..

im a shedding skin again.. dotx.. went swimming wif deary last wk.. haha..

Im realli feeling better gals.. thanks for all ur concern.. hope to see u gals soon...

2005-04-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

:: May god bless him::
haiz.. so tired..
sumthing cropped up today.. my grandpa in m'sia was in hospital..
mum called hme and asked me to contact my bro and she and dad took leave..
we left for m'sia.. my eyebrowns kept twitching.. im so worried.. grandpa is veri old le.. haiz..
when we saw him.. he looked alrite.. he can still sit up.. my aunt said he got low blood pressure.. he said he was dizzy.. felt much relieved..
he kept speaking things like he is gonna be gone.. asking me and bro to listen to my parents.. asking my dad and my aunt to live in harmony... made me felt so much like crying.. but of coz i din..
Guess we have to go again tml.. but i hope he is better..

Sorri leepeng and Huiping and gals... was suppose to organise some dinner meet-up on wed(tat is tml).. but i guess i have to put it off for now.. dun wori we'll be able to meet-up soon..
Sorri deary.. i feel so bad for putting off our swimming trip today.. i sosososo wanted to go.. but such thing happen.. sorri lah.. i haben seen u for 3 days le.. and i think we wont be meeting for another 2-3 days.. haiz.. realli sori ks.. haiz.. hope i can see u soon... *sobs*

May god bless ah gong.. hugs.. my eyebrown is still twitching..

2005-04-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

:: lazy Bum ::

i felt so much like a lazy bum.. seems like evryone has got sth to do... haha... im soooOoo lazy to get a job.. haha.. mum saes i dun nid to get a job.. she wans me to help up at hme wif housework.. yah... she has got a maid for free.. haha.. i shld sae i have officially become the maid for this house hold... haha... somemore no nid to pay for maid 'levy'...
hmm... im being taken adv of by my family...! Humph... jkjk..
its great.. haha.. mayb i shld use the time to brush up my cooking skills
haha.. and try baking cookies again.. haha.. and muffins...

when to deary hse again.. haha... coz he has to work in the evening... haha...

i got nth to blog abt again... haha.. my life is turning plain again...
haha... gimme time to find sth fun to do.. so i can tok abt it... haha

2005-04-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

hehe.. yest i went back to sec sch before meeting deary...
wif my 2 other classmate.. sch felt so diff, after the PRIME thingy, many things changed, and many teachers left, coz my sch is not a sch tat is worth staying for, it felt like a hooligan sch now..
Memories still lingers in my mind, all the foolish stuffs tat i did in sch..bittersweetsourspicy i guess i had experience all in that 4 sig yrs.. its the impt part of my life.. and without it, i doubt im wad im now..

after going to sch.. i went to esplanade wif deary... we sat and see the sky darken.. den it started to drizzle.. haha.. we were actually happily walking in the drizzle but when it got heavier, we watched faster..
we had desserts at baker's inn, i tried the hot chocolate cake.. its veri nice.. rich chocolatey.. its solid outside but there is some sort of chocolate filling inside... realli tasted nice wif the vanilla ice cream on top... hot cake plus icecream and rich chocolate fillings... great...

2005-04-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

:: 6th MonTh "month-nivesary"::

11.59.. one more min til our 'monthi-niversary'.. actually.. the exact time will be 12.48 rite, deary.. (deary is so-so-so gonna kill me if i get tis wrong..*prays*)
when we started, i tot it will nv make it thru the 1st mth ..
when its our 1st mth, i tot it wil nv last til our 3rd mth..
when its our 3rd mth, i wondered if we are gonna be together til our 6th mth...
and now its our 6th mth, i juz wished that everything goes smoothly.. whether we are tog or not still anot in future..

at first.. i always tot tat being wif u was an impulsive decision, i wasnt realli sure if i can put 'him' aside and start of a relationship.. im afraid of hurting another one.. after 2 other fruitless relationships tat always ended wif me becoz of 'him'.. but u were the one tat told me to take it slowly.. its ur sincerity tat make me wanna try harder to learn to love again..

I noe im not tat sticky sort tat will make u feel loved every sec we were together.. u noe im tat independent sort, i cant stand it if i have to be wif u every sec of my life.. i nid space and time to do things i wanted too..but u shld noe tat u are part of my life and no matter wad i do, the 1st i think of is u..(other den my family)..
I noe u are always puzzled y i dun behave like ur other frenz's gf does (who will get angry when they look at other gals, or go out wif them), i have trust in you, that u will not do things unfaithful, but if u do, i could only blame myself for trusting u too much.. (but, it will nv happen rite?) ... haha.. so much abt it.. lastly.. I LOVE YOUU...!!!

2005-04-10T09:21:00.000+08:00

:: slpy ::

Tired... haha.. i slpt for an hour plus.. when out wif my bro and ex-neighbour yest.. watched house of fury.. its funnie.. haha.. reached hme at abt 1230am.. haha.. chated wif deary on the fone til 1.. den when to shower..and when to bed after reaching newapapers while waiting for my hair to dry...by then it was like 2.30am..

cant slp but i have to wakey at 4 plus.. was gg to send my mum off at the airport.. she has got an earli flight.. after we left the airport.. me, bro n dad when to aunt's hse to pick up 'far far ah gong' (used to called tat when i was young coz my grandpa lived in malaysia).. he came to s'pore for some medical checkup thingy.. he's gonna stay ard for the day before my dad send him back to my aunt's hse..

Bro has got the admission letter from NUS and NTU for electrical eng.. haha.. im happi for him but worried for myself.. im nv gonna get results like his.. i dun think i can make it to U.. and im realli the 'dumbest' at hme.. ma and pa are hold high posts at work.. and me?no achievements.. i even got Cs and Ds when my bro score almost all As for his diploma subjs... I felt dUmb.. haha.. i realli hope there is more improvement in the nxt sem...
Hmm.. i think i nid to slp.. im feeling weak and restless..

2005-04-09T11:49:00.000+08:00

::Results..Result..Result..::

How i fared?
FC C+
Mst1 (retake subj) C+
Mst2 C+
MDSS C+
BNF C
CSAS C
BMIC B

shocking.. i din expect a b for bmic... i hate the subj like nobody business.. and i skipped like more than 50% of the lectures and of coz i dun realli understand much.. coz i hate it so i gave up trying to understand..
BNF was the one tat i tot i wld have to tek sups.. coz i studied lesser than i nid and was lost in the exam papers coz there is so mani things i din study..
FC. abit dissapointed.. i studied most for tat...
But.. i still think tat i improved.. not Ds and Fs.. haha.. and i squeeze into the top26-50% haha.. tat was better.. coz i was in the 76-100% last sems haha..

I nid to hazie whose attitude in studying always make me wanna strive harder for MST1.. and wew finally make it..
Koonie.. for help me in maths.. and lending me notes to copy when i skipped lecs
Evan.. always sumone to turn to when i dun understand.. haha..
May.. who will sometimes tek details dwn tat we din catch during lecs..
haha.. i thanx all..*HuGs*
and sok kim.. who always encourage me to pass my Mst1

Opps.. i forget to tek deary.. for morally supported and reallie being there wif me.. and hearing all my whining/complaining/nagging when i fared badly for quizzes...etc.. and staying up wif me when i studied for quizzes when he haf sch earli the nxt day.. (dun be dissapointed abt the results ks.. u will always be the best in my eyes..)..muackx

will be gg out wif bro tonite.. haha.. wif our childhood fren.. my ex-neighbour who used to live nxt to us.. haha.. it will be fun..

2005-04-07T14:16:00.000+08:00

:: Blue Contacts::

After struggling for a few days... i finally pluck up courage to put on the colour contacts tat i bought last week... scared at first coz i had nv tried it before.. my bro gave up coz he cant put them on.. and den there is this fear abt eye infection and not wearing it the correct way..

haha.. it wasnt that diff actually.. haha.. i took less den 10mins on my first side.. haha.. but one qn.. how wld u noe if u wear it wrong side up.. haha...
and it realli look abt funnie.. like i got lite blue iris.. haha.. its odd... hahaha..

2005-04-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

:: Busy Busy Busy ::
Seems like i have got mani things to do.. nid to pack my roomy.. vacuum and clean.. bring in the clothes and fold them.. and if i had the time.. i prolly make my way down to get the fengshui bk.. haha.. my mum wans it.. haha.. the rabbit,rooster and ox... haha..
one fast trip.. no shopping.. no playing.. becoz im gg out wif deary tml again... i dun think we r aniwhere near tml.. haha..we're gg to catch the movie.. after hazie said in her blog that the wedding date was nice... i wanna watch tat... haha..
i might as well get over and done wif it.. it put me at ease...

im hungry.. haha.. getting myself sth to munch on.. haha..

2005-04-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

:: Irritating Blogger::

I come to realise that this blogger thingy is starting to lag... haha.. always have errors.. and it took ages to load... irritating.. and i had to retype my entry again.. its the 2nd time in 24 hrs...

Its twelve plus.. and i cant believe another day has past.. haha.. (the mentality tat i haben slp yet)
wad im i gonna go today.. haha.. gg to deary hse again.. haha.. to catch "the notebook".. haiz.. he's teking a long time to reply to my msgs... wonder wad he is up too.. (feel like knocking him on his head) urghs.. cant he juz finish it off so i can get to slp..? den i wont be here to post this cranky blog.. (and re-enter my entry again)

wad m i doing.. waiting for the sky to drop down and hopefully kill me.. haben fill any interview forms for the past few days.. haha.. idunno wad im doing.. but i kinda like this.. haha.. coz i haben had a real rest(as in slack, laze, and do nth) since exams are over... haha.. hazie and koonie will understand this.. haha.. (we lurve slacking.. dun we?)..

Mum is flying again.. haha.. to china.. im kinda use to it le.. haha.. mum was like saying mayb we could really plan a holiday trip.. haha.. to hong kong.. haha.. mum says prolly in may... haha.. i haben been there yet.. and we haben gone for a familt leisure trip overseas for ages... ( Im imagining again)... haha.. i better get off to bed.. or i will be late when meeting deary again.. haha.. im always late..

2005-04-05T12:54:00.000+08:00

Sian-ed..
im so bored.. haha.. jobless and penniless.. haha.. ok.. not exactly.. haha.. but im too tired to find a job..

went to sentosa wif deary yest.. haha.. at first we tot we had to cancel our trip as it was raining heavily.. but when it was reduced to drizzling.. we decided to go ahead wif our plans.. since we alr prepared to go.. haha.. and so we went.. haha.. we wasnt the only crazy one..
haha.. it wsa quite fun lah... no hot weather and u still can enjoy the sea.. haha... had our dinner at BK and watched the musical fountain thingy bfore we left sentosa...

was supposed to go to papparoti wif hazioe and koonie.. but ended gg to sentosa... i felt bad actually.. but deary had to work tmr and had something on on wed.. sorrie gals...
when can we go out for leisure not looking for job..? haha... i wanna play and haf fun... and we still had activities we havent started on..... haha... bleah....

2005-04-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

heh.. Joaqium called me.. haha... but i didnt take the job..
i wasnt keen now aniway.. and traveling down to hemisphere will be tiring and expensive... haha.. started spouting some bull-shit thingy that i had some un-foreseen circumstances and that i give it a miss.. haha.. stupid.. mayb im lazy but... i dun wanna be working there lah.. i dun mind working in the kitchen not the waitressing part.. i nid a job tat i could have fun wif.. haha.. i dun mind having a low pay.. so wad if i earn big bucks but i wasnt happi.. it wasnt meaningful... bleahs...

*Hazie and Koonie - go ahead for the job if u wanted it.. haha.. i realli have no offence abt it.. dun give it up becoz i din get it.. its ok.. *

Me, and my lazy self.. can i juz sit ard at hme and do nth.. i tired of getting a job...
all that interview... calling.. and all the working wif a reluctant feeling.. Im half past giving up... haha... are we there yet... haiz.. i cant think abt it.. i still have worri abt the expenses nxt mth.. its goona eat into my saving in another 1-2 weeks time..

2005-04-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

I quited to job..
haha.. i wasnt veri happi.. infact i was glad tat i make the correct decision.. and mum agreed wif me..
the job... is no good.. it wasnt much abt approaching ppl and toking to ppl.. it wasnt abt meeting the quota.. *though i had to realli overcome my emotionally obstacles*
It was that i was working against my conscience.. we noe that the particulars for that lucky draw thingy was used to be called by the travelling company and these eligible latter(has to be married, have credit card, earns >4000, and s'porean) were supposed to bring their spouse to this talk (wad my ma calls, time sharing).. the company was using the lucky draw as a way to find such eligible ones.. although they had legally conducted the lucky draw (approved by CID) and there were winners for certain prize.. i dun feel gd doing it.. i feel like these aunties and uncles are kind enuff to help us.. its not easy to stop a stranger and make her listen to all our rubbish and fill up the forms.. most juz past us by and treated us like invisible.. I would really wished to apologize to them... this kind hearted ppl...

hmm.. i think im gonna have nitemare tonite.. i felt bad after doing sth things against my conscience.. its juz not rite..

2005-03-31T20:55:00.000+08:00

heh.. gotta job.. at some roadshow promoting thingy.. haha.. starting tml.. together wif koonie and hazel.. but i wasnt realli sure if i will enjoy it at all.. haha.. but aiyah...... i m sick of calling up empolyers and going for interview and walking around aimlessly.. if i enjoy the job.. i will continue.. and if i dun.. i will leave then.. haha..

mayb i shld juz go gv to work.. or papparoti.. or sth else.. or tek up cheapo courses wif koonie.. haha

wad am i gonna expect tml? i dunno.. i m not anxious.. im more like nervous.. heh.. i hate approaching ppl tat i dun noe.. haha.. mayb things will turn up betta after we warmed up and got adjusted to the environment... haha.. first time working in somewhere but factory.. haha.. at least now we can all look beautiful when we work.. haha.. dun nid to wear markey clothes to work animore.. haha.. but the $$ is gonna be hard to earn... I Nid to work hard..!!! haha.. and plus transpot fees.. haha.. lunch.. aiyahhhhhhhhhh... so Headache...

Wish me luck...!!

2005-03-29T19:38:00.001+08:00

blah..blah..blahs... job hunting..? with koonie.. bleahs.. shitified
big pieces, small pieces, of notice wif a big word "HIRING" or "HELP WANTED".. but wad appears on the next line? "FULL-TIME STAFFS"... irritated.. and not only that, they wanted us the work long time for those that are part-time.. so irriatting.. we have for 1mth plus to work.. y aren't u guys giving us a chance.. who noes that i might work thru the hols and into the new sem... WE NID CHANCES!!!

my throat is dry, my head is bursting wif that stupid headaches and my bones aches....
wads wrong wif me..?

2005-03-26T13:42:00.000+08:00

bleahs.....
i dun feel like studying..
spent the whole yest laying on my bed.. sneezing my head off.. and yah.. going to my grandma hse.. haha... med make me feel weak and i had a early nite...
I dreamt of weird things recently.. things like i was late for the exams and dunno why i cant nv make it to sch.. etc etc etc... its driving me mad.. dotx

I was supposed to study mst1.. and i wasnt in the mood too... my head was still spinning... m i slping too much or wad.. i cant think.. shall study tonite or proly tml after everything i have to do..

Tml i haf to go 'cemetery' i dunno wad its called.. the place where ashes of the dead were put in... yah.. Ching ming is round the corner.. and we have to go and visit the dead.. ahah.. in malaysia where my paternal family is.. bleahs..

I had to start planning my hols.. mum wants me to get a job so that she dun nid to give me pocket money for the hols.. but it wasnt a prob of no working.. but more of a prob cant find a job.. mayb i shld try some retail thingy.. but then again.. who will wan to hire a student that could only work for 1 mth or so.. i dun mind working in the sch days if its fexible.. but chances are low coz they wouldnt hire u in the 1st place...

but den again.. im so tired.. i wanna go out wif hazie and gals.. haha.. we have got mani things to do... but its all my choice aniway.. ihave gotta think hard.. but the 1st week will not be occupied.. haahha.. all reserved for frenz and deary.. hehe hugs...

2005-03-23T17:47:00.000+08:00

okays.. 3 days into the papers.. and im left wif 2 more to go...
BNF sux.. heh.. i reckon im gonna fail this 1.. i didnt study much out of the 10 topics.. only studied the hints that mdm lau gave... and wad she gave was minimal..
yest nite i was caught in the middle.. hehe.. wad a careless mistake i had made.. i decided to study those that she told us to study and thot it was all.. but things i nv studied did come out at the writing sections.. I didnt study proteins.. and water.. and i couldnt rmbr why cholesterol is gd.. ks.. this paper is a gonna... i think i can go and eat shit and study for my supps.haha.

heh.. tml's Fc.. im prep to study all 4 chpts.. haha.. aniway i halfway done during the study week... hehe.. wish me luck.. haha..

2005-03-20T12:39:00.000+08:00

heh.. i haben been blogging recently coz it the study week.. hehe.. I spent part of the time studying.. part of the time gg out wif dearie and studying.. part of the time doing nth.. i think i wasnt at hme.. haha.. or either my bro is using the comp..haha..

tml is bmic paper, but i really have no confident on it.. it was my least fav subj and i always have prob rmbring them.. the terms and the stages. and the cycles and rxns.. during the quiz.. i wrote rubbish and wateva i could rmbr on the papers and suprisingly.. i pass... haha.. yest i spend alot of time thinking of how to start studying.. shld i start from the back or front.. shld i juz study the those that Loh had said and omit the rest.. shld i study those i felt it was impt..? there are only 5 chpts but there are alot of facts.. urghs... i felt uncertain of my tots.. haha.. but i did start studying.. haha.. frm tml onwards. haha.. this gonna be studying to late nites everyday.. hehe.. my dark rings r gonna be blacker den ever..

I wish all those teking their exams nxt week gdluck and all the best.. u guys sure will do well de.. haha

2005-03-12T17:56:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i nid to thank siew koon and hazel... heh.. that retail theraphy thingy realli makes me relaxed... and... satistified... heh.. abt 34 dollars.. hehe.. hmm.. its light.. if not my bank acc will blast again this mth.. bought 'racer-back' top.. a shawl.. and a pair of flip flops wif hazie and koonie... *hugs*
***happI 5th month 'anniversary'***
I nid to thank dearie too... i felt that u understand my nids too... i noe im abit odd... heh.. i called myself a low maintenance gf.. haha.. not fuss no hassles... coz u nid not invest alot of time wif me.. haha.. oks... its my excuse for needing to be alone sths.. i love freedom too.. u noe...

one more week to sems exams... nxt week im realli gonna work at 100% conc. except gg out on mon wif dearie.. hehe.. and the tot of making cookies... But im realli gotta work hard for ...

My chgr is spoiled... so irritating... ahaha... my batt is low and i cant charge my batt...
thinking of getting another new chgr... MOTO SUX..

2005-03-08T20:41:00.000+08:00

I NID TO BREATHE..! I NID SOME BREATHING SPACE..!
You...! Your love makes me wanna hide..
all that over protecting, over-whelming, pre-occupying love.. Its killing me... I nid some space of my own..
I m realli suffocating for all that has happened for the past weeks..
I admit i m not a good jugglier, juggling sch, relationship and family live..
Im simply going mad soon..

Being sandwished between ur bf and ur family ain't a gd experience..
strained relationship,
strained family relationship..
Its driving me bonkers.. i wonder how long i'll be able to hold on..
Logically, my mind is telling me to let go, but my heart is saying no..! Its glued to the back of my mind, and each time i close my eyes for a rest, its there, i see it again..
I cant rest well... i realli cant get to slp at nite.. I had weird dreams at nites.

God, this veri blog is officially a blog for me to whine and grumble and unwind...
Im too stress... I realli nid time off to be alone... tek care..

i not big hearted enuff.. i dun have the talent of being forgiving..

2005-03-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

StupId saTurday..
Wakey earli in the morning to go the sch for some CIP thingy..
I kept dozing off in bus and had to keep my eyes wide open when i was abt to reach tP before i doze off into a deep slp and missed my stop..
5 ppl collecting newapapers, can, bottles in a 13th storey flat... with 8 flats on each storey..
it adds up to 96 flats*excluding the void deck*
it was so earli that we either wake up some ppl or run into ppl who juz wakey up and show their slpy faces... wad worst is that we r not provided wif neccessities like strings to tie all the newapapers and we did not have trolley to transport all the stuffs around the flat...

I Miss Mum.. shes now in australia.. happily enjoying the scenery as she goes ona business trip.. and dad.. is gonna fly over to enjoy a short 'getaway' with mum tml...
this leaves me and kor *bro* all alone in s'pore.. as usual.. and which means.. i will have to get on wif all the chores for 5 days.. dead meat for someone so lazy like me..

sometimes i tried hard to please others.. that i didnt realise myself or someone else's heart was hurting instead.. I couldnt decide animore..
wished that i am stronger..
- I noe i had make u sad.. but i wished to keep my promises.. -

2005-02-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

hehe... nice day...
haha.. Its rained.. in the morning i gueSS... hehe.. i was so happi...
Coz i havent been raining in punggol... hehe.. and fires can be caught ani moment..
plants in the park dwnstairs had plants that have down-sunken leaves... and they look yellow...
so poor thing... but today its slightly greener...

hmm.. but it could have been acid rain.. coz of the haze...
hehe.. when to orchard wif koonie.. and we finally bought sth.. haha...
haha.. coz we had nv bought anithing wheneva we go out tog... haha...
guess its becoz we didnt shop hard enuff... heeh...

Feel so stupid... one of my ex was msging me for FUN becoz he was frustrated...
Do i look fun to make fun of????
So irritating... when i replied him and ask him that.. he could juz say i look bimbo...
HellO... i m Juz doinG a gD deed and I was Called A BIMBO!!! and he wasnt juz aniBody.. even if we are no longer together dun i deserve that little abit of respect.... even if i was a bimbo.. he shldnt have said it....

2005-02-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

Marathon Tuesday... everything went like marothon today..
go sch.. study for bmic.. tek quiz..
study for Fc.. mst2 lec.. Fc quiz
study for Mst1.. Mst1 quiz...
Head to lib..do proj.. go home.. do research..

felt like shit... felt like i studied for nth.. think i can go bang the wall when i get all my results..
haiz.. looking forward to going out wif dearie.. i haben been out wif him for this week...
and he.. is starting to remind me of that wheneva we start a conversation.. so.. hmm.. thnk week is gonna be a tedious weeks.. quiz after quiz... proj deadlines after deadline... we dun even had chance to catch a breathe.. fri will be great coz i will be gg to marina south to have dinner wif my ex classmates... how great.. but we had Bnf quiz on that day... an 8am day...
I LOVE SCH!!! like hell..

2005-02-21T21:00:00.000+08:00

Heh.. god... y m i here at this time... i was supposed to study.. im left wif Fc's fats and oil.. and bmic's 4.3 and 4.4... hehe... me head hurts... its migraine... and it hurts on the right side... hmm... new yr is going to be over and i nid to do sum adjustments... hehe... if not me weight and size is gona increase by dunno hw mani numbers...

1. No more soft drinks thru;out the day, to cut down my soft drinks intake.. moverover i dun drink milk and carbonated drinks will coz the calcium to 'leave' the bones
2. No more over snacking on food, hehe.. esp nuts... coz its OILY...
3. Hmm.. hula hoops... hehe... i nid to 'exercise' wif my wave hoop... hehe. hope this can make my waist smaller..
4. Drink and eat foods that r high in calcium.. haha...
5. wad else... hMmm... Lose weight?...*highly unlikely...veri*

enuff of crapping... shld get back to work....!!!

2005-02-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

HmM.. seems like i haben been blogging for a long long time... heh.. sori eh.. got lotsa work to do.. some serious agenda to do..hehe... no lah.. juz had to spend time wif deary... i feel so guilty.. coz i haben been spending much time wif deary coz of the new yr.. and nxt wk.. its gonna be my death date... haiz... mst1,fc,bmic on tues... bnf on fri.... no... how am i gonna squeeze those facts again.. heh.. dun they noe that slackers like me had malfunctioning brains... thats will we spend most of lesson time doing things that we arent supposed to do... rite?... haha..

seems like there is alot in my mind these days... bizzaire thots... haha.. aRGh.... i MIss holidaeS... Why arent they part of our curiculum... Haha... i hate our education system.. it forces us to have to work our nerves out so that we can remain in the better ranges... sUmtimes i felt that y m i doing so hard.. forcing myself to work harder and harder when u noe nth much is gonna happen when u got a better grade.. coz it means u gotta work harder.... heh... so much so.. I still love our lifestyles... all the buzi traffic, very familiar surrounding.. i nv had i place in mind tat i ever wanna be except here...

2005-02-12T16:43:00.000+08:00

2005-02-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

2005-02-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

hehe.. second day of new term.. heh.. and i oredi missed a lesson...
so shittified..wakey late and cant get a cab on time.. decided to change my mind and tek a bus..
keep sneezing all the way into lecs... urgh... how am i gonna survive til 6pm... i m now in the comb lab... slacking again... i realli nid to quit this habit... haha....

heh.. missed my bnf lecs but koonie helped me took my results... heh... 37/50.... i cant believe it... i didnt study much... haha... in fact i dun think it was my actual results... i thot i wont get borderline results.. hehe.. we shall c den.. they have collected it back for checking... hehe... btw.. wads the diff between lactose intolerance and milk intolerance..?

2005-01-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

4Th day of termbreak... heh.. 1st day studying for test..
2nd day on the test and swimming.. 3rd day supermarket trip and sunburnt..and shopping...
its the 4th day. n i haben been doing aniting.. hehe... haben even got ani of my new yr clothes... CMI... new year clothes anibody? haiz..
this term break sucKs... when we are towered by activites... projs..
and sch work.. plus... the thot of our sems test that commence in another 6 weeks...
haha.. and i thinki noe how confident i m... haha.. only abt 30%... haha...

2005-01-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

Heh.. Im back... felt rather relax now.. now that the most of the test are over... esp... MATHS...! phew.. so glad that it was on the 2nd day... i can realli relax and concentrate on the other tests... if not the stress is gonna bug me when im studying ither subjs... heh.. i can do maths....!!! at least i felt that i can do them correctly.. heez.. i shall noe when i get back the results.. Now its all left wif FC... hope i can do it well...

FC anD BNF projects is killing me... so irritating.. cant get wad we're suppose to do... or mayb its me.. i onli have 3 and half hrs of slp... i think i shall do my part in the term break... hehe.. an excuse to not do it now...

Oks.. i shall go back to work if not i'm realli gonna be killed by my group members...

2005-01-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

this may be the last post im posting until the term test ends..
i will post if i have time during nxt week...
Its gonna be a stressful week for me..
wads up on my schedule..? Study.. study.. and more study.. I realli gotta pump in extra effort... esp for super-duper slackers like me.. and i juz wasnt playing much attention to lec despite of my existence in lecture theatres... haha.. we even had a 'slacker corner' in the LT.. haha..
Realli so buzi tat nowadays im blogging twice per week on average.. hehe..
HmM.. looking forward to going grandma's hse..tml.. even though its quite a distance frm sch.. but... haha... i dun mind it aniway...
i fanally got my specs... haha... i dun nid to strain my eyes and borrow tuts to copy animore... i can see things on the screen clearly.. hehe.. so happi... thanx to siewkoon and hazel who dun mind me copying notes frm their paper and lending me their tuts to photocopy and reading out load notes we nid to take down for lecs... i realli appreaciate it... hehe... i think i realli bugged u guys.. haha

2005-01-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

Got my term test timetable... haha.. i dun realli like it...

Communication Skills for Applied Science 1 17 Jan 2005
Mathematics and Statistics 2 18 Jan 2005
Mathematics and Statistics 1 18 Jan 2005
Basic Microbiology 19 Jan 2005
Basic Nutrition and Food 20 Jan 2005
Food Chemistry 25 Jan 2005

shit... 2 maths subjs a day... haha... wonder how wld i have energy to study for Bmic... haiz...
hMM.. shant blog animore... gotta do tut...

2005-01-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

Lab.... I have lab tml... haha... the lab session tat dread the most... haha... cannot understand wads going on.. haha.. wads worst was u have to print out the lab manuals urself.. u noe how mani pages is the lab manual tml... 13 PAGES... madness.. can they juz print for us.. i dun mind paying... haha...

Hmm.. i gtta try to keep mY head up.. haha.. the fact is i m veri scared of exams.. haha... i hate going thru all that.. and i m veri prone to being over uptight.. haha... and i constantly nid to loosen out... haha... coz when i m stress.. i always have the urge to hide out.. haha.. and tats realli bad... haha... hMm.. i have to start revising.. or tis will happen veri soon...

2005-01-04T19:17:00.000+08:00

hMm.. sokkIm thanks for ur reminder.. heh.. seems like i haben been blogging for a few days.. haha.. i was too busi wif work.. or rather.. the comp is being occupied by my bro.. haha...

2 more weeks to term test.. im getting abit stressed now.. hmm..
all the quizes r done by now..
and i noe clearly how much i have been slacking the whole term..
all wif the celebrations after celebrations..TerriBle...
i wonder if 12days is enuff for me to catch up on all of them... I've gtta buck up...
*new year resolution 2 - slack less and do more work..*
its only the 1st month in sch and look at how lazy i have become..
this sem is rather short so we realli have to push on.. haha...
hMm.. i shld start on my notes soon...

2005-01-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

HappI neW yEar... haha..
We havE driFted thRu anoTher year..
haha.. I guEss i havE growN up aloT in 2004..
hMm.. started my 1st vacation job.. having my veri 1st paycheck...
have a O lvl cert..made alot of frenz.. went on to poly..
get attached again... aiiii... so mani things happened in magical 2004...
haha.. its time to move on... heh...

happI belated bdae Jasmine.. haha.. wonder if u wld see it.. but.. aniway.. yah.. hope ur dreams come thru...

new year.. and its not filled wif anxiety... haha.. mayb becoz we oredi started sch earlier ago...
aniway.. gd luck and all the best to all in the year 2005... haaha...

2004-12-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

so boring.. having lab now but i have oredi finished my task..
waiting for every second to tick so tat i can leave the room.. only at 3.30pm...
i have oredi had nth much to do.. so decided to blog...

have Bmic lab juz now.. haha.. and i realise how much i was losing out in BmiC..
i think i shld stop skipping Bmic lectures...can even tell which was the hyphae and flaggelum.. and nuclues..cilia..techa... of those virus, protozoa,algae.. wateva.. i realli nid to revise them very soon... my lecturer show as how the micro organisms in the pond water thru the link up system from his microscope to the linked up teevee... so cute.. and they are realli living... moving.. in the slides... unlike those we see in our own microscope.. haha... so fun..

gotta go study at the lib wif deary later... i have got food chem quiz tml... ON NEW YEARS eve... so shitty... gotta stay at sch til 1 tml... and me evan hazel koonie may will be going out to celebrate our new yrs day... wont be staying for countdown in orchrad this time round... so crowded.. and deary wont want me to be there aniway... hehe..

2004-12-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

kungfu hustle.. haha.. i juz watched wif deary...
my ratings : 2 and a half...
i shld sae it wasnt fantastic.. i dun realli have the urgh to luff at all..
its ridiculously funnie.. not humourous... Hmm.. i juz cant explain it..
haha... i felt abt bored.. in the centre.. haha... mayb im juz odd.. coz deary is luffing thruout the show.. and i m not realli luffing much... haha

juz printed out the lab manual for tml's bMic lab...
haha.. i hate bmic labs.. i m always lost halfway thru...
haiz.. wads worst was im oredi blur enuff.. haha..

realli gotta get down to studying Food Chem...
theres a quiz on fri.. thank god it was only on Topic 1: water...

2004-12-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

heh.. today... was a short day for me... becoz i slept too much...
i was suppose to go sch at 8 am.. but i decided to skip the 1st lesson and go to sch at 9...
but i overslept all the way to 10 sth.. haha... luckily the next lesson was at 12.. haha.. so i rushed to sch.. haha.. i feel guilty for missing so mani lessons.. this is realli bad...
Hmm..*inspired*...
new year resolution no.1 - to not skip too many lecs this sem...

maths stat1 quiz was ok... i think tau huay (mr tan hang huay) deliberately set it easier... 2 qns was frm the tuts and extra exercises... hehe... thanx to him.. i see sum brightness in my maths future.. haha.. cant fail animore.. coz if i fail agian i will have to say bye bye to this course... Kambate miT... Kambate HazeL too...

2004-12-26T19:04:00.000+08:00

heh... hazie.. yeah... i cant wait to... to the extent tat i cant help thinking abt it.. and i totally forget sch at 9 tml... haha... can i not go sch?... haha...

SokKim.. heh.. im no longer hiding.. haha..
im out again.. the sun is shining.. im smiling again.. haha..
I miSS YoU... haha... and bin... and siling.. qiuxia...lijun.. and all...
haha...

haha.. Yest waS a 'not like christmas' christmas.. haha.. juz dun feel like.. haha...
haha.. mayb im at hme so i can hear those christmas carol playing over n over again in shopping malls.. or the lightings... haha.. but i have it spend wif my family... 1st out of 3 weeks tat i spend one whole weekend wif my parents... heh... i love my family.. haha.. dun be jealous deary.. i miss u too.. haha... I 'hate' u... im lying...

2004-12-25T20:02:00.000+08:00

HoHoHo.. MeRRy ChristMas...To aLL...
HaVe U guYs enJoY ur ChristMas evE...
haha...I haD fUn yesT...
tats ProbablY the LongesT timE i haVe SpenD By dearY...
Haha.. meeT him In sch @ abT 9aM... tiL...alMost 2aM... hehe
We exchanGe presenTs.. haha.. BouGht hIm A tEE.. haha... CombeD the wHole BugIs to get Him a Tee.. ITs The CraziEst thinG i HavE doNe fOr a Guy...
He Is suMonE EsP sPeciaL... In mY life.. I haVe nOt DonE thiS fOr ani OtheR gUy... Im DeaD... haha... I cant conTroL my actions aniMore Huh... haha... enUff oF this...

NeXt weeK.... haha...QUIZ-s... Maths Stat 1.. FC.. CsAs1.. waD elsE.. haha... I thinK I reallI canT go animOre shOppinG NxT wk.. haha... I gotta Be seriOus thiS time..*NO MORE PLAYING MIT!!!*

Im lookinG forwaRd to Our BelatEd ChrisTmas celeBratiOn to Thai ExprESs wiF Hazel..KoOnie..Evan and May... heh.. cYa on MOn..

2004-12-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

i felt like hiding out in a hole and ..
never ever come out of it animore..
wads wrong.. i dunno...
i think i have reach my down period...
i m feeling depressed.... UrGhs!!
cant it juz gif me a break...
scHool sux

2004-12-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

felt so lethargic..
felt so torn apart by priorities and thots..
had a bad dream yest.. I dream of a fren dieing.. we're at his furneral and only me and my frenz can see him.. its bad.. wakey in the middle of a nite and couldnt get back to slp in peace.. i juz felt it was a bad omen.. I cant explain it..
getting tired of this template..
maybe i shld change it to sth simple again...ohz.. i wish i could design my own ones..
but.. i dunno how.. and i dun have time to..

im still brooding over wad deary said..
i noe u dun mean it.. but it juz hurt..
i understand tat it was unintentional..
bt i juz cant stop myself frm thinking abt it.. sorrie..
i nid sum time to let it go..
dUn feel guilty.. coz the prob is wif me..

2004-12-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

im feeling abit stupid now.. felt like my brain has got sum sort of virus and it aint working well.. haha.. i have got bad memory and i m veri blur.. and wif that scatterbrained illness.. its worst.. im getting more and more tired wif each and every day..

urghs.. we have lesson at 8 tml.. n wads worst is tat sch ends at 8... blahz.. mayb i shld juz miss the BNF lec tml in the morning.. hmm.. shall keep it as my last option den..

yeah.. christmas is round the corner. and i dunno which shld i go to.. sec frenz? juz deaRy.. or ex colleagues.. can i tear myself into 3? haha... But wads DOMINATING my mind is B MIC QuIz.. tats bad... i wanted to miss sch on that day....!! Urghs

2004-12-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

hMm... luckiLy i finished my laB report Yest nite... haha... I haD a war wiF the rePorT and Flowcharts yesT in the midnite... started at 1am and finish at 4 am... wEnt to slp and wakey at 9 sumting... and den slack awhile and den prepare to meet mY sec at hOugang to head of to harbourFront... haha... we're going senTosa... in the afternn... haha... the weather was nice.. we sat den at siloso beach and sang a bdAe soNg for angelIne.. haha.. have loTsa fun tokinG to mY sec frenz.. haha.. n the sun.. haha... den we decided to leaVe for dinner at BK and ended up taking away frm there sO tat we Can be on Time for musical fountaiN.. haha.. I felt like a tourist.. ahah... But the show was a biT disappointing... haha... felts like a children show haha... Today waS reallI an enjOyable day.. haha... duNno when wiLL be SeeinG them aGaIn... haiz... I wiLL miss U......... haha... I m Not givinG a DamN abt the TuTs... haha... i M too In a Gd Mood to Do thOse irritatinG TuT... shall Juz gIf It a miss den... Hmm... Tml is Mon... I m gonna Have mOnday BlueS again...

2004-12-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

OkAys!! I shaLL blOg Now.. the fact is I finaLLy got a chanCe to... My bro Have lessOn in the morning and ends at laTe afterNooN... so By the time i reacH hme.. He wonT be hOldIng on the the mousE of the comp anD PlayinG his Games On the Net... I wonT even Get a chance tO toUch even the keyBoard.. Plus it has been a buzi week for Me.. Buying presents... one after another.. and i haben got one for the x'mas gift xchanging deal tat me hazel and the rest have...
have been CracKing my mind on tat.. how to get sth tat the 5 of us all can use? haha... iTs rather diff.. but i will have another few more days to do tat...

Wad taT iis MorE impoRtant will Be the IMFORMAL REPORT!!! tat Is dUe on MoN... I m dead meat.. haben finish tat.. and i have like another 24 hrs.. to compLete It.. and have to start on the *pre lab thing* foR FC lab.. anD the maThs tut... haha... sianZ.. How m I going to finish them.. when i still have to go sentosa tml wif mY frnez...GoDs... Can aniBody give me their free time so i Get to have anoTher 36 Hrz?

2004-12-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

Changed My BacKgrounD mUsiC... Nice meLody...
Im In a DileMma.. How dO i maKe a decIsion betweN famIly and lOve...
ThiS 2 ThinGs canT be comParaBle.. They lIe to Close to My heaRt...
OmG... I How to Get thiS stuPid mess Outta This tinY braIn of Mine...*frowns*

2004-12-11T17:04:00.000+08:00

I habeN been BlogginG thEse days hUh... coZ iHave Been goinG hme latE thiS days... kEeP gOinG oUt wiF mY frenz afTer Sch... thaT suGGested whY my parEnts aRe so AngrY at Me now... haha.. TerrIble.. Have Been reachIng hMe at HouRs like 9... 11... almosT 12... Im Dead.. This CarrieS on.. I can forget abt my FamilY ties deN.. coz My parenTs are reallI UnHappI... HmMm.. I reallI gotta PLan My time now.. iF not aLl my life is gonna be in a Mess In no timE...
GettInG abiT frustrated Now.. Haiz.. suPPose to go Read Up thE fooD chem anD micRobiolOgy NOtes.. coz I Dun sEem to get them.. But i decidEd to leave them to tMl.. I m reallI not In the mood.. anD I wiLl have to get mY laB journaL and read Up the Lab manuals tmL... coZ Mon is A douBle labbY daY... HmMm.. sEems likE tmL is GOnna Be a Buzi day... anD Its Our 2nD mOnth anniversarY deaRy...

2004-12-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

HmmM.. I m Back iN scH aGain.. haiz.. I m Back To the PressurE caN again... hmMm... goTta work hard Now.... HmmMm.... I hopE i wiLL... heehheee

Its it a Good BeCoz.. Deary wonT be complaiNing taT he duN see me FrequenTly.. Hmm.. I duN nid to feel empTy anyMore.. InFact... I will feel tat I wont have enuff tiMe to go arOund...I get to See ev'ryOne now..

Its bad Becoz.. I felT soOooo tired.. especiallY when I have lesson frm 8 am to 6pm in the evening... *faints* and SokkIm....!!! i m missinG u like hell... heh... I haF been seeing u almost ev'rydae for at least 1 mth... den suddenlY u R missing out in mY life... haha... it felt odd... hMmm... HopE tHe holidays aren't over yet... But.. I think we will get fat.. coz We might Be eatinG most Of the Time huh.. oks.. hows sch For U... gOd luCk yahs...

2004-12-05T11:19:00.000+08:00

HHmMmm... YesterDay waS thE wonDerful-est daY of mY Life... haha

Meet Close Frenz aT orchaRd to celebRate My bDae in aDvance... hahaha... BouGht a baG.. sUm clothEs.. have lunch and we went to watch the brigetjOnes diarY..... iT was damn funnIe... nice one man.. i was laughing almost every 5 mins into the show... reaLli have lotsa fuN wif them... haha... treasuRe the time Too.. coz I dunno when will i be seeinG theM agaIn... i m Gonna get sO frens-sick... hahaha

Moved on the meet mY famiLy memBer's at parK mall to eat FiSh anD cO... i M reallI touch... coz All Of them weRe theRe... anD iT realli costed mY mum and dad a bOmb... and made me so guilty.. i think they spend 300+ for a 14 ppl... and thats was alot... But i m ReaLli so Happi... to see theM arOund...

I ReallI felT like sO fOrtunate to Have mY frenz and familY and dEarie... Realli...

2004-12-02T13:53:00.000+08:00

This vacation is almost over.. and.. i felt like an empty bottle wif all the contents beinG emptied.. I dunno how to explain such emptiness... everything tat happened in this 2 mths.. was it a dream or a reality... if i was to choose.. i would rather it be a dream.. but.. it happened..

Now, if i juz sit back and think thru the entire holidays.. wad tat might have left a great impact to my memory will be the death of my great grandma i guess.. it was the grief tat costs all the sadness.. knowing that this person is not gonna appear before ur eyes animore.. in ur life

Of course there were happier memories.. working wif sokkim.. shopping... having breakfast together.. star gazing on the 6th floor of techpoint during breaks.. shpping for snacks.. toking.. i have never spend so much time wif a particular fren.. and i had lotsa fun.. made me realise that wad matters isn't the no. of frenz u have.. but.. the type of frenz u have.. sok.. U r definitely my soul mate.. *huGs* i wonder when was the nxt time we are gonna work together again.. i m gonna miz u thru'out the 2nd sem...

2004-11-30T09:14:00.000+08:00

Life havE too Many incertainty..
anD nothinG last forevEr..
suMtimEs i wish i was a specK of dust..
sO noOne notIces me..
winD blows and teK me awaY..
silenTly..

*-We oFteN do ThinG for a ReasOn..
YeT A ReasOn TaT we MiGht nOt UnDerstanD as weLL..-*

2004-11-29T14:37:00.000+08:00

**___MuTE___**

haiZ.. I cant speaK... for 2 days Le... cOz I had a bad throat... terrIble... In fact it doesnt matteR.. I duN feel like doIng anithinG eiTher...

I dun feel Like goinG for worK... I goT anothEr CQA oN fri... anD tat waS mY last Chance.. I waS suPPosE to Be sacK... anD whY did My GL GabrieL savEd me.. I duN wanna staY in flexinG.. It waS terriBle therE.. when I Juz stand and scan imei... blah.. lookIng over the tO the packinG dept... therE was where i wanted to be... iT was sad lOh.. to see suMthing U wanted so much to be in anD now U noe U cannot be there animOre.. I waS juz too sillY... teking thinGs to easilY... I sensE sumthinG was wronG tat day.. buT yet i didnT do anitinG abt it... iT hurt mY prIde too.. wheN i have been workinG previously for 5 mths and Now in 1 mth i have 3 CQA!!!

SorriE soKkim.. I noE i prOmise to stay oN tiLL fri.. But i reallI cant BrinG myselF too.. I ToT i waS strOng enuFf... buT i wasNt...

2004-11-26T20:57:00.000+08:00

**___SiCkEd__**

UrGhs... I havE beeN feelIng sick sinCe yest.. afteR work.. and I have lay On my bed for 18 hrs... coz My Bones are all achIng.. didnt even have to energy to stand up.. anD didnt have the appetite to eat... and now My heaDache hasnt eased...

SorrIe sokkIm... I wanteD to gO the work de.. Yest.. But I realli feel so sick tats why i didnT go... Poor thinG.. it mUz be lonelY for U.. and wad a coincident for everyone in the line to not appear... except for U... haiZ.. sorri Gal... buT fret Not.. Me going dowN today... *huGGs*

Dearie.. soRrie laH.. i didnt want to make U so worriE tats whY i dint teLL u abt it... I dun wan anitinG to happEn to yoU when U R worKinG... Bt instead I made U moRe worrieD when U Noe abt It in the nite... I m suCh a SillY gal.. arent i..? aniWay.. dun woRRie... I will Be fine.. Dun treaT me like a little Gal... I m stronG enuff... hahaha

2004-11-23T15:29:00.000+08:00

^_________^

Me.. waD m I doinG now... I m suppOse to Be slpInG now... anD i m stiLL bloGing... OMG... I slpt at 9 and set alaRm to waKey at 12.30... to go Get 1 of the aunTie at workplace The touch knife.. plUs do sum snack shoppinG at ntuC.. haha.. Bought hei bai pei and honey stars sokkim's fav .. cup noodles.. suM chips.. etC... and sum Frozen food... foR breakfast...

WorkinG will hectic yest... ChIN CHeW lIn...!!! U R gettinG on My nerves.. and theY ar on The verge of snappinG ani MomenT frM now... Juz becoz U r My leadER it doesnT mean tat U can Have Ur waY all the Time.. and I m juz toleratinG U.. becoz I duN wanna Make a commotion abT this.. each time came towarD me and soK we reallI felT like givinG u a slap On ur face.. I mean.. wads the big deal..? U r pretti.. veri indeed... U have a Veri BAD ATTITUDE PROB.. anD U NID to REallI GiF iT a thOt... U made me and sok felt like sayinG the f-word each time U say sumting to us... U R realli a pain in the eye...watCh out coz U oredI becOme a commOn target of most ppl wHo reallI wanna get Back at U when They have a chanCe to...

I Have enuFf of ventinG all My anGer tat I have beeN controllIng all tis timE... haha... I have finish all My whinIng.. heH

2004-11-21T20:15:00.000+08:00

*__Frenz foReveR__*

Juz reaD soKKiM's BloG.. haha.. I reallI feeL sO fortunate to Have Frenz aroUnd wiF me.. wheN thinGs aren'T doinG gooD...in Fact.. workinG now ainT going smooTh... I hate the irritating and irritatable leader... Its like juz a factory worker and whaT so prouD abt it.. Not as if she is earNing thousands everY month.. wads MotivatinG of mE stayinG in thE companY..? the $$ of Coz.. MotoRola is a Gold Mine.. haha...Jkjk.. its the pay tat is the pUll factor.. oF coz.. sokkIm is mY push factor.. withoUt her.. i won't be there.. Its realli greaT to Noe tat U Have sumOne RitE bY ur side wheN u R facinG troUBle.. even thouGh u nid to face it all by urself in the enD.. Its The MoraL support tat Give uR Heart a sense oF security tat Tells U.."dun Be afraid.. We can brave it thrU this once.."... Yah... OF coz I m MissinG eveRyone elsE too... bUt i Juz thInkiNg of sok Kim abit moRe.. coz i See her everYdaY.. heez...

2004-11-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

*__LosT In LifE__*

So BoreD and feelIng so LazY thesE daYs.. I juz Feel Like workinG and workinG.. slpIng anD slpIng... hIdinG myselF frm all Those thinkiNg ruBBish.. WorkinG is a BorE.. BuT at LeasT Its a gooD alternative to ThosE RubbisH frm BargiNg into The tinY braiN of minE..

I seeM to be a change persOn now.. I m doinG waD i used to do.. But The feelIng is diFFerent.. I felt likE i m doinG sumthinGs becoz I feel I shlD.. Not I felT likE doinG them... How lonG can I hOld on liKe this.. I dun Noe... But I m Realli LosinG mY touch oN sUmthinGs... Im SorriE

2004-11-19T13:57:00.000+08:00

*__FlasH BAcK___*

I BoUght a BiG phoTo alBum Today.. I pack mY room last sat and I realizE tat i have mani fotOs.. NeoprinTs...MOvie tickets(used)... etc etc tat i took wiTh My frenz.. In secondary and wiTh thoSe in MotO.. and of CouRse Poly frenz too... happilY LookIng tat thosE fotos one By one.. and It brought memories back to life again... I started arranging theM frm the earliesT in date on mY album and tears filled mY eyes... looking at The neoprints tat me and angel,ping shufang took when we r sec 2.. and i start to thinK of tat stupid and foolish thinGs we've doNe.. It was My turning point of mY life.. when i starteD all sweet bitter facts of life.. having 1st relationship.. juggling family frenz and studies.. coping wif my cca.. facIng all My happi and sad In life.. My regrets in The things i have done... I have definitely grew older Now.. anD meMories tat nO one can tek away.. and money couldnt buy.. whether i hate it anot.. Oh i m BegIninG to Miss theM so mucH... caN anione oNe flY me back to when i used to Be..? I gotta Go.. haBen get any sLp since i reach Hme..

2004-11-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

Never look back," we said
how was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead,
emptiness behind Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
all my joy through my tears
all my hopes through my fears
did you know, still I miss you somehow?

[CHORUS]From the bottom of my broken heart
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
you were my first love,
you were my true love
from the first kisses to the very last rose
from the bottom of my broken heart
even through time may find me somebody new
you were my real love
I never knew love
'til there was you
from the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said,"please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
we could have worked things out
taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
through my dreams
through my heart
and I'm back where I started again
never thought it would end
[CHORUS]
You promised yourself
but to somebody else
and you made it so perfectly clear
still I wish you were here
[CHORUS]
"Never look back," we said
how was I to know I'd miss you so?

WaS suRfinG anD I Came croSs this SOnG agaiN... I usEd to love The lYrics of the sonG.. I still like it now... haha... nIce sonG... So dEcideD to pUt it On My blOg insteaD... haha...

2004-11-13T07:36:00.000+08:00

*_1st MontH anniversarY__*

YuP... Yesterdae is the day.. HappI MonthlY annIversary dearie..

I FaiL mY sups... shucks... I Knew it.. My instincts r oredi telling me so since yest.. Proves it rite again.. U can be expecting me to Be tekinG it nxt yR... aniOne else cuminG aLonG..?

- I cant rite on... I m In a Terrible mOOd.. mY apologIses for ending so aburptly...

2004-11-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

*__ToUChEd__*

its 2 o clock.. anD guEss waD.. I onlY slepT for 2 hrs... I was awAken bY mY mUm... she on The radiO so loUd.. anD den My Dad vacUUminG the flOor... GoD.. Dun TheY rmBr I m stIll SlpInG... *faints*

RaYmOnD suPrisE me today... He cAme dowN to mY work Place theRe all the way.. at 7.. Ok he is abiT latE thoUgh.. BuT naH.. Its Not iMportaNt.. iTs thE tHoughT.. he have work at 11 am and he stiLL came to See me... even thoUgh tmL wE r meetinG... Coz its Our 1sT montH anniversarY... haha... Its have been LonG sinCe i last said Tat.. coz aParT frm My 1sT.. he is thE onlY one that caN make iT thrU the 1st mth...*embarraSSed*

I JusT wanna saY tat.... EveN tHouGh I DunnO wheRe wE r headinG to.. bUt i m HanginG arD on heRe wiTh U... haHa... It DoesnT matter to Me whethEr i M uR dream gal anoT... I m noT angry at aLL.. I m noT peRfecT.. I m reallI noT aS prefecT as U thoUght i waS... anD i caN promIse U tat I won't hiDe anithinG frM U.. cOz U can sEe it thrU my eyes If i did... heeZ...

2004-11-10T20:10:00.000+08:00

*___ChanGeD__*

Haha.. FinaLLy I changeD mY blOg temPlate... HavE been SearChinG for One.. tiLL My eyes fell In lovE wiF thiS speciaL one... aTTracteD By the pessimistic TouCh Of the templatE... Mayb I m abIt negatiVe toO... anD i UploaDed mUsiC... whahahaha... *smIles BroadlY*
havE been Buzi last weeK.. N this weeK u can expecT me to Be WorkIng Non StOp.. Coz There is SO manI puBliC holIdays... I canT beaR to parT wif the Extra $$ i can get working On publiC holIdays...

Haha... I muz Have goT mY mUm"s genes... I m a workahOlic.. I aM hardworkinG... OnlY at work.. as in a JoB... U dUn sEe me This hardworkIng in scH... I fall siCk buT once i start workinG... I sorta get betta... Okays... sumTinG mUz Be wronG wiF me... haha...

2004-11-04T18:15:00.000+08:00

*_I dUnNoE__*

I Juz CamE back... aftEr shoppIng wiF eDwin anD JunjiE.. FoR fooD anD ended Up walkinG in the amK nTuC for like an Hr plUs... coz It waS raininG cats anD doGs ouTside so we weRe walking anD tokIng anD walkinG... like Nobody's BusinEss.. In faCt.. everyOne was Puzzled whY these 3 tEens are walkinG aroUnd in The supErmart wiF a cart For so ManY rounds... Bt.. It felT great.. soRta loosEn me Up abiT...

ThesE days i felT frustrated anD I duNNo whaT is thE reasOn behiNd it... Juz pure frustratiOn Over NOTHING...PerHaps I HavE Not Enuff slP or I m heaty.. Or maybe it was The pRessure tat I gave mYself in My RelatioNshiP..SuMtimes i jUz DUn feel lIke goinG to meet suMbody.. Or eveN to bE in conTact wiF anione... I M begIninG to feel alIttle emOtionally tiRed... Perhaps Its thE fact tat I realised tat the commitemenT i nid to give to mY familY, FreNz and deary is Much More tat I expected... anD Much More tat I could give.. I have nOT been In lOve foR a quiTe suMtime henCe I finD it Much hardeR to adapt Now.. But I noE aT thIs verY poInt of tIme i shlD keep calm and stay CooL... Sumtimes mY heaRt wavers and when I finD mYselF struGgling it wiLL wavers mOre and i wiLL end Up giving uP Hope.. I m Not goNna GiF Up Nw.. I m tryinG Dear.. I m tRying mY besT...

2004-11-04T14:03:00.000+08:00

*_TiRed___*

I sOOooOOOooo tiRed.. I dunnO hw m I gonna Have thE energY to buY the Food for The claSS BBQ ltR.. I m MeetiNg edWin theY all... i slPt at 10am.. and now its 2... and i m meetIng theM at 3... Oh weLLs... I m Gonna teK a cabbY dwn... I m sO tiRed...iF i geT to finish buyIng earlI.. I might go Hme and reSume mY slpinG... nah~ I gotta stoP thinkinG and bath changeD.. *yawns*

2004-11-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

*...BoRed__*

mayB i shlD jUz chanGe mY TemplatE.. I m getting siCk of It.... arGhs.. No i m GetinG siCk... I m sneezinG away for the lasT one hr.... haiz.. woRk... Blahz...

2004-11-02T14:09:00.000+08:00

aRgHHhhh......! MathS suPPlemEnt... TerrIble Dream.. No.. Its an realiTy... diD the maThs Sups today.. anD i felT so sucky... I GoT a Gut feelIng taT ItS EithEr juZ pass oR jUz faiL.. anD keep feeling taT i m More on The failinG side... shucks... Its noT verI easi nOr diFF... I nOe hw tO start most Of them.. But i sumHw get lost In the middle.. and wHen i weNt back to The Qns aGain.. Its worst.. coZ Its coLd and My brain is chillIng... anD it sorta miXed uP mY concepts... UrgH... FeLt like mY blooD is cloTTing In My brain.. and mY brain felt like aN empTy nUtshell... wiF NothinG at aLL... BEing scattered brain usually is worst.. anD Now.. I m EmptY brained... haha... I dUn care aniMore.. If i fail.. den forward lOhz.. I can saY loUdlY tat I have dOne mY BesT.. haha... it Least Now i can woRk wiThout worrying for mY exams... heez... can BlOg aniMore.. Gotta teK a Nap befOre I meet dearY i the evening... if Not i m Gonna Be zZz when i m Out wiF him agaiN... Buaiz